Happy America Day!

Just so we can get this clear up front, the French do not hate Americans. They prefer a more socialized government, but they don’t have the same individualistic culture that we do, which makes it more suited to them. After all, France has been pushing for total unification of the state since Louis XIV. Likewise, they fear power concentrated in one nation’s hands since they’ve been at the wrong end of several wars in the past. With the exception of Pearl Harbor, America has never truly been attacked like France has, and since we have never had a Verdun, capitulation and diplomacy are much less attractive to us (for better or for worse, I suppose, but we all know where I stand on the French making “peace in our time”).

I got a good taste of what the French really think of America and Americans on Independence Day. Of course, my friends and I went out seeking a party, but I was quite taken aback to see so many French people out celebrating as well, American flags flying. We ended up in a bar with a bunch of Americans and French partying together, drinking Bud (pronounced “bood”), and singing American songs.

After the proper amount of beer, I started looking around for French chicks to hit on, and I acquired a target. I got one of the more advanced French students to tell me how to ask if I could buy her a drink, etc., and I went forth to ma belle chere.

“Comment t’appelle tu?” I said.
“Ummm…I only speak English,” she replied.

As it turns out, the chick was from Brentwood, perhaps twenty minutes from where I live in L.A.  Like, oh my god.

So that was a bit of a failure, although I can’t quite claim fault in this instance. Someone asked me later what I would have done if the woman had turned out to be French like I wanted and started talking to me in French. I told her that I hadn’t thought that far ahead.